Single Ladies Ask?

FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS

Question 1:

Where can I find a good guy?

Answer:

Believe me if you are 25 years and above, you have met at least 5 good guys. In order words, good guys are everywhere- in schools, in religious places, at parties, in remote villages, in cities, in fact they are everywhere, and its either that you had been ignoring them or you are expecting them to come in a particular way and time, and life doesn’t work that way, so be wise and open your eyes because that ordinary guy that asked you a direction and you ignored him maybe the good guy you had been waiting for. It maybe that rich guy you had been busy beefing for keeping so many friends, you might just be that special person he’s been waiting for.

Question 2:

Why do men cheat on their partners?

Answer:

First of all, I want you to first admit the fact that men are polygamous in nature before we can talk about other things. Meanwhile, men cheat for so many reasons. It could be for a selfish desire or for a personal decision. It could also be as a result of his partner’s incompetence, i.e. poor character and manner, poor emotional reflection or understanding. Most importantly, some men are born cheaters, they inherited it, cheating runs in their blood, and they can’t make do with one partner, no matter how pretty she is; they are always on the edge of exploring new women, and to them it is fun, and it has nothing to do with morality or the partner in question, no matter how good the woman may be. Another set of men have gradually out of fun developed a core habit for sleeping with anything in skirt no matter how ugly she maybe.

So what do you do if you end up dating such men?

Remember, I earlier said something about ‘testing before trusting’, this is the need for you to test before you trust, and even when you must have finished testing, please always check balance, that is the need for maintenance in engineering, to be able to detect fault before it occurs and to proffer solution on time. Remember again, you can’t convince a man to act against his will; it is only God that can change situations like this, so this is where God comes into play. Withdraw from the relationship, better still, become a platonic friend and if you really care about him, help him attain salvation through Christ Jesus because that’s the only way such men can change and see reasons to quit sleeping around, else, it may be so difficult for him to do by himself.

How do you help him attain salvation?

Sow a seed of repentance for him, and be serious about it, pray fervently to God with faith to change him; pray with undivided attention and it shall come to past. Remember in the bible book of Mathew 11:28, God was speaking through his son Jesus Christ saying; “come to me all you that are heavily burdened, and who are also tired of the sufferings of the Earth, and I will give you rest”. Draw him closer to Christ, so that he can understand that the life he’s living is not worth living, so that he can understand that life is not just all about fun.

A man can also cheat when he is not truly in love with his partner; maybe he is just using the lady to pass time and to kill loneliness while waiting to find the woman of his dreams. But this is always an approach for unwise men who have poor moral judgment, and those who find it difficult to win female admirers, maybe as a result of their present life condition, upbringing, location or physical appearance.

Finally, some men cheat because they are emotionally premature, that is why you should avoid committing yourself with immature guys who are still out to catch fun with ladies. Any romantic relationship that is not aiming at marriage, is a wasteful relationship, avoid such relationships if you desire to get married in the mere future else, you will encounter a lot of disappoints from men.

Question 3:

Am I the cause of his cheating on me?

Answer:

For every relationship that fails, the woman has a contribution to it. The reason is because you are the one who accepted this man into your life. Don’t forget that we attract who we are. A man doesn’t just go to every lady he comes across, something must attract him towards the lady, and this first attraction is always physical. Do you now see the reason why you need to dress mature and decent? You might not agree with this analogue, but search through your heart and you will discover the validity of this statement.

I know of the fact that there are some good ladies who are still faced with the challenges of a cheating boyfriend or partner, this is why you need to go back and read this book over again, starting from the introduction page to the epilogue, for more clarifications on this. Another simple answer to this question is this; ask yourself a question, if you didn’t accept him into your life, would he have had access to cause you pains or heartbreak? So you made the first mistake of letting him in. So be careful of the men you attract into your life, it matters a lot.

Question 4:

Why is he still delaying getting married to me?

Answer:

Marriage is a responsibility, it has to do with decision, a lifetime decision, and therefore it demands carefulness. Don’t be in a haste to get married to a guy just because you two have been dating happily for two or three years, so you end up assuming that you are compatible. Marriage is quite different from dating, just like I said earlier; it is a responsibility which requires sincere commitment from both partners.

Now, let me ask you, will you be happy that a guy out of persuasion, got married to you, and in the next two years, you guys are on divorce case at a marriage court?

Now to the question, your boyfriend or fiancé may delay getting married to you for so many reasons. This could be as a result of:

• financial difficulties
• emotional troubles
• spiritual problem
• family issues
• the absence of true love
• immaturity on his side
• fear of raising children
• fear of being committed to one lady for a lifetime
• fear of future uprising (e.g. divorce, quarrels, etc)
• fear of family responsibilities or fatherhood

Don’t also forget the fact that not every man that dates you wants to get married to you. Some men are out for fun, they have no family value; they are afraid of raising children and sticking with a lady for years, and they are afraid of financial responsibilities, etc. It is also possible that the man doesn’t love you to the extent of settling down with you for life, which is what marriage entails. Lastly, some men are mature physically, but they are immature emotionally and mentally which is very vital in a marriage, avoid such men, they will only waste your time, unless you are still out for fun. Don’t rush into marriage so that you won’t rush out of it, think wisely before you say yes, I do.

Question 5:

Why is it taking him time to tell me, ‘I love you’?

Answer:

You have not convinced him beyond his expectations that you are that woman of his dreams. Examine your character and actions in the relationship and rate yourself sincerely.

Question 6:

How do I know the qualities he wants in a woman or who his dream woman is?

Answer:

Every man desires a good and virtuous woman. Go back and read chapter one where I explained what it takes to be a ‘good woman’.

Question 7:

Is it good to have sex with my boyfriend before we get married?

Answer:

Obviously, it is very difficult for young people to engage in a romantic relationship without indulging in sexual activities, but if you understand the dangers involved, you will rather live without it. You cannot do this on your own, because our flesh is weak, and sex is the most powerful drive in human, but with the help of Jesus Christ, you can be in love with a guy and not have sex with him.

One big secret about men is that they cherish principled women a lot. If you say no and stand on that no, he will respect you forever. There are a lot of ways to show your emotions to the man you love aside sex, why not strive to discover such ways and keep your relationship safe from premarital sex?

Question 8:

How do I know that my boyfriend loves me?

Answer:

This is one of the most frequently asked questions by single ladies. With the high rate of disappointments by men, majority of single ladies are curious to know if their partners love them or not. Some go extreme lengths to find out; they consult witchdoctors, sorcerers, prophets or soothsayers, just to know if they are on the right track or not. Here are some ways to know if your boyfriend loves you or not:

First, if a guy loves you, definitely, his feelings must be clearly reflected in his behaviors, expressions, passion and actions towards you. It is not just about how many times a guy tells you ‘baby I love you’ that determines how much love he has for you; it is how he reflect these utterances in his actions that matters most. For instance, a guy that professes that he loves you and still go about beating and cursing you and your family doesn’t truly love you, or do you need a talisman to tell you that too?

Secondly, how often is he ready to help you out whenever you get entrapped in one problem or the other? Or does he sit back and just watch you suffer in pains? If so, be wary of his love, but if he usually offer his hand for help; it is a good sign of true love because a guy who loves you, will always want the best for you, he will want to see you succeed happily than watch you suffer in pains while professing that he loves you.

How often does he like to communicate with you? Guys enjoy chatting with ladies they love, their words make them happy. A guy that hardly look at you directly in the eyes, may be cheating on you; remember, shifty eyes is a good sign of betrayal both in business, family or romantic relationships, so watch out for this sign whenever you suspect his actions.

How often does he tell his friends or relatives about you? Does he hide your relationship with him from these people that matter in his life? If yes, he may not be in love with you, be careful. Another clear indication that a guy loves you is to evaluate how much he loves going out with you on a walk, with his friends, colleagues or even to religious worships. Definitely, if a guy doesn’t love you, he won’t be proud going out with you, he will only enjoy spending time with you in secret places like: in bedrooms, hide outs, street corners, especially at nights or at odd hours of the day when no one is around.

Finally, if a guy loves you and wants you for life, he plans future with you; he discusses issues like, raising children, making savings, planning a home and his focus gradually moves from sexual to family values.

Question 9:

Why do guys complain when a girl ask them for money?

Answer:

Naturally, men love to provide for the woman they love, but they don’t want the woman to love or care about them just because he provides her with money and material needs, that’s the truth. Believe me, if you date a guy and refuse to ask him for money or financial assistance for like six months, the guy won’t be happy, in fact he will be the one to ask you if you don’t have any need at all. This is to tell you that men love providing for their lovers, but don’t want to be seen as a money minting machine, only good for financial provisions.

Question 10:

What exactly do men want from a woman?

Answer:

I know you had been longing to get the answer to this lifetime question? To be honest with you, men don’t really want much from women. Genuine men don’t want a woman’s money (at least majority of them), they don’t want her treasures, all they want is her respect, love and undivided attention. Yes, men want your respect, in fact, it tops the list of what men want from women. Every man wants to feel respected like a king, so don’t go about disrespecting him and still expect him to love and value you. No matter the situation, respect your man. Above all, a humble woman is always dear to every real man’s heart, so be aware that men respect and cherish humble ladies; ladies who don’t puff their shoulders up just because they are good looking, working and getting admired by many. Every man disrespects and snares at a pompous woman.

In conclusion, what men want from women are- respect, love, attention, humility and patience.

See you on the next edition of FAQs by single ladies.