Why True Love Is Gradually Going Into Extinction

It is no doubt that true love is gradually going into extinction in our today world, especially in Nigeria. In this article, I am going to examine some of the factors that have contributed to this disheartening situation.

Everywhere you go, you hear male folks crying that today ladies are not good, that they are just after money and material things and not after love, and it keeps baffling me why a female would choose money in place of love.

Surprisingly, as the male folks are crying that women of today or will I say women of the 21^st century are bad and after money, the women folks are also crying that men of today are no longer worth loving, that they are all after sex,
 and for this, they call them so many names- dogs, he-goats, and sometimes bastards just to show their anger and frustration over the male folks they had encountered in their lives. But now I ask, which gender is to be blamed- the male or the female? To me, I believe both genders are to be blamed for the gradual disappearance of true love in our today world.

Now I want to ask you: how do you as a lady expect a man who used his money and material possessions to convince you to date him, to love you with all his heart? How do you expect a guy who flaunts his flashy car, jewelry, phone, wrist, and probably went as far as dishing out money just to get your attention, to respect and love you when he finally gets you? It is practically difficult for such a man to love you because deep down his heart, he knows very well that you only accepted him because of what he has and not because of his ordinary person.

True love takes nothing, in fact, most people that love a person genuinely can hardly point out or single out the reasons why they love the person, but today, a girl can easily tell you while she is in love with James, and why she is not in love with Peter, and she still expects to be loved genuinely, says who? Many a times, you will hear girls saying: oh my gosh, I love this guy so much, he is just everything a woman desires in life- he spoils me with gifts, treats me like a queen, take me to shopping, spar, etc…and you will also hear the same girl saying: that guy is just too dull for my liking, in fact he is classless, can’t even afford to take me to a good restaurant or even to buy me a handbag, and he still expects me to love him, over my dead body, God forbid!

Let me share an experience with you, its about a cousin of mine, she’s pretty and gorgeous, and there was this guy coming after her, and she kept bluffing the guy, turning him down with the usual lines: I am hooked, sorry I don’t double date! This guy made me understand that he was obviously in love with my cousin, and was ready to do anything he could to make her happy, so I tried talking to my cousin on his behalf, and here was what my cousin told me: “is it by force to date someone, tell me? I don’t like the way some guys pester girls just to convince them to date them, it doesn’t worth it please. If a girl likes you and wants to date you, she doesn’t need you to pester her before she accepts, just go and tell your friend to leave me alone please. He isn’t my taste- he is still job-hunting, not handsome to say, and too dull for my liking so it won’t work simple!” I wept for the guy even though he wasn’t my friend, but I felt for him because I myself is a guy and I know some girls too may be saying the same thing about me behind me someday, we never can tell. So I backed off from trying to convince my cousin to at least give the guy a chance since I am very sure the guy likes her and he is truly a quiet and nice guy except the fact that he has no money.

Weeks later, I saw my cousin moving with one flashy guy- nice car, smart clothes, cute looks, etc, and it wasn’t long, she introduced me to the guy, and I wished them luck, but deep down me, I know it wasn’t gonna last, not because the guy was flashy and all of that, but because I know that he is a playboy who entices girls with his money, looks and material possession, and only to dish them out when he’s done, so I just kept mute.

To my greatest surprise, their relationship lasted more than I presumed- I met them together again after four months during my cousin’s birthday party, and the guy was no doubt introduced as the man of the day, and later my cousin flattered me with all sorts of good gists about the guy- how he spoils her with money and gifts, how he had been taking her around places, and also showed me the latest blackberry phone and stuffs he bought for her as birthday gifts, honestly, I was flattered.

But unfortunately, two months after the birthday, they broke up in a devastating way- she caught the guy red-handed with another girl of higher class, beauty, etc, and he refused to apologize and rather told my cousin to go to hell for all he cares. I pitied her because the incident broke her down to the extent that she tried running away from home because almost all her friends, family, etc know about her relationship with the guy.

Months on, I met with my cousin again, and she had recovered from her heart break, and according to her, have learnt her lesson on relationship, so we ended up in our usual gist, which didn’t waste time to land us into talking about relationship and love. As we were busy discussing, she chipped in this statement: “Ng, I saw that your quiet friend one day,” I didn’t get her, so I replied “which of my quiet friends?” “the one you know of course,” she replied laughing, “I don’t still get you, be specific nne,” “okay, okay, the one begging to be…” without letting her exhaust the words on her lips, I jumped in, “oh oh, so how’s he?” “why are you asking me? I only saw her sha, he wasn’t looking bad anyway,” she rolled her bamby eyes, “as in?” I pretended not to understand so that she would spill out her mind, “I meant that he is now looking handsome and kinda new seriously, what happened to him?” I couldn’t hold it but burst into laughter to her greatest amazement.

Finally, I later discovered that the guy she was talking about had finally secured a job with one of the blue chip companies in town, and was now living big. When I discovered this, I felt more frustrated than before- I never knew that my own sister was also into greed, into accepting guys because of their monetary and material possessions despite the fact that her parents are rich and do provide her with virtually everything she needed. This baffled me even as I write this.

To shorten the whole story, let me summarize some of the reasons why true love is going into gradual extinction in today world, especially in Nigeria:

21st Century Women Accept Only Alpha Males

What I mean by alpha males in this contest are guys with enough monetary and material possessions. In the past, women accepted men just for whom they are, if not, most of our fathers wouldn’t have been able to find a deserving wife, because most were so poor they could hardly afford to buy their lovers an earring then, but still, their female lovers stuck with them and most ended up becoming personalities, timbers and calibers that we all know and hear today. But the case is different today; girls now accept guys based on how much money they have, the kind of car they drive and the kind of clothes they wear, and they still expect to be genuinely loved by men, how?

 Now, for the fact that today girls accept mostly alpha males, and for the fact that there are only few alpha males in Nigeria for instance, the ever increasing number of girls in Nigeria keep clustering around the few alpha males in Nigeria, and as we all know about the law of demand and supply, the few alpha males now see themselves as gods over women because they know that virtually all Nigerian women want them by all means, so they end up acquiring as many girls as possible without having to worry about loving them.

Remember, this few alpha males have friends and relatives who are either alpha males and majority of non-alpha males, and these non-alpha males are watching and seeing how their alpha male friends and relatives are moving with different females of all social class and status, while they the non-alpha males are wallowing in total loneliness without even a single girl to call their own, and in the process of watching this scene, they develop dispassion and biased mind over all women in general, and they end up forming this belief that all women are after money and material gains.

In the process, when some of these non-alpha males attain the alpha male status with time, they end up doing the same thing the alpha males had been doing because they have no other regard or respect for all women in general and so they end up not loving any woman again even in marriage. This is one major reason cheating amongst single and married men is skyrocketing by the day, and can hardly stop unless women have a rethink and start to act like their mothers and grandmothers which is obviously impossible for now.

Majority of men are after sex

Men haven discovered that majority of women want them and only accept to date them based on their financial power, have developed the mentality of no-sex no-relationship. And as we all know, any relationship built just around sex, can hardly be true love.

Media Promotion

Our today media has gone a long way in destroying true love in relationships and marriages, especially in Nigeria. Sex is now being promoted on musical videos, home movies, media adverts, etc, which is having a negative influence on how youths view relationship and marriage.

Also, how our today media promotes the role of money, fame and material possessions in relationships and marriages is really so appalling. It has made almost every youth to believe that money is equal to love, and that without money love cannot exist, which is also affecting our level of corruption and almost everything in Nigeria. We need a total medial sensitization and re-orientation to change things in this nation called Nigeria.

Maternal Roles

Today mothers in Nigeria have also contributed negatively in destroying true love in Nigerian relationships and marriages. It is so disheartening how a mother will go ahead and be forewarning her daughters never to date a poor guy, or say a guy that isn’t driving a car. They also play this negative role in deciding who their daughters marry.

To give you a clearer view of what I am talking about, kindly click on this link: http://www.nairaland.com/1093588/being-man-he-builds-himself and enjoy yourself.

We shall continue with this versed topic soon, but for now, stay blessed.

© 2012 Ngozika Nwiro. All rights reserved.